*Crackles*
*Crackles*
-Uh, Houston? This is Rogue Uterus here, over.
*Crackles*
-Houston here, Rogue Uterus. What's the problem, over.
*Crackles*
-Uh, no problem here, Houston. We're just waiting for the green light on the stim portion of our space walk? Over.
*Crackles*
- Copy that, Rogue Uterus. Need to check with the Space Captain Commander, he was due to scope the surface of the martian uterus planning to take half your payload. Said Space Captain Commander, after washing his hands and petting his Aston Martin, may be getting a few links in, can you call back in an hour? Over.
*Crackles*
-*deep sigh* Roger that Houston. Will cackle back at you in an hour, over.
*Crackles*
*One hour passes*
-Come in Houston, this is Rogue Uterus here, over.
*Crackles*
-Got you loud and clear, R.U., over.
*Crackles*
-Yeah, we're going to need a green light or a red light on that stimming, Houston. We're so choked up with nerves over here we think we just dropped chicken eggs in our shorts, over.
*Crackles*
- Thanks for that visual, Rogue Uterus, we think we've at least figured out why you're infertile. Space Captain Commander still not responded yet, please call back in one hour, over.
*Crackles*
-Oh for fuck's sake, I...oh. Shit, I didn't realize this was on. Ahem. Roger pronto 1-2-Niner, Houston. Will call back shortly. Over.
*Crackles*
*More damn time passes.*
-Houston?
*Crackles*
-Rogue Uterus?
*Crackles*
-Yeah, it's Rogue Uterus. Is anyone else calling you and sounding so desperate, huh? HUH? So, what? Is it a yes for stims or should I go and try to suck out the alcohol from the freeze dried vanilla extract out here? OVER.
*Crackles*
-Yes Rogue Uterus. It's a go for stims. Start tonight. Drink lots of water and milk and eat all the protein you can get. See you Monday for your first scan. Over.
*Crackles*
*Weeps with relief.*
Over.
YAY! I'm glad you finally got an answer. This post just cracked me up!
Posted by: Heather | 24 January 2007 at 06:29 PM
Love your space analogy.
They really like to torture you, it seems. :-/
Posted by: Lut C. | 24 January 2007 at 06:54 PM
Excellent news.
Posted by: Ali | 24 January 2007 at 07:25 PM
Sweet!!! Now be sure to eat lots of eggs! My Chinese Acupuncturist said that in Chinese Medicine, if you want to grow lots of eggs, then you should eat lots of eggs. ???? Apparently, you eat to get what you want... interesting logic... I'd like a new car too, but I'm not sure if gnawing on the tires of a pretty new car will make one appear in my driveway... Eat up!!
Posted by: carey | 24 January 2007 at 07:39 PM
Phew. You don't need the milk, btw, if you're eating extra protein. Keeping fingers crossed.
Posted by: thalya | 24 January 2007 at 07:48 PM
Sweet Mary, it is about time! It's about freaking time, I say. Fingers crossed for you, my dear.
Over.
Posted by: Jill | 24 January 2007 at 08:01 PM
My acupuncturist says to avoid milk and dairy as it's 'dampening', though you do need lots of protein (and dairy foods tend to be a pretty good source).
Sorry they tortured you with the wait today.
Posted by: Tinker | 24 January 2007 at 08:40 PM
YEA!!!!!
Posted by: donna | 24 January 2007 at 09:06 PM
Oh, thank goodness!
That was very funny, it was.
Posted by: Kath | 24 January 2007 at 09:37 PM
Woop!
Can't wait to see how many hen eggs you can produce in 6 days.
Posted by: Anita | 24 January 2007 at 09:42 PM
thank goodness!
Posted by: caltechgirl | 24 January 2007 at 10:12 PM
I think I may have just learned something new. What is the secret with protein during stimming? Where did this come from? Have you done it with previous cycles?
Posted by: Jamie | 24 January 2007 at 10:24 PM
I admire your ability to make fun of the situation! What torture it must have been. I wish you all the best. Bonne chance
Posted by: marie-baguette | 25 January 2007 at 12:06 AM
I'm really glad you're starting. And that was a great post. Put it so well.
Bea
Posted by: Bea | 25 January 2007 at 05:05 AM
Hehehehe....
Roger that.
good luck x
Posted by: Meri-ann | 25 January 2007 at 05:10 AM
Jamie-both my clinic and my acupuncturist say that a lot of protein in the diet leads to eggs of better quality. Thalya's right-you can do either 1 liter of milk a day or the protein-as a vegetarian I have to juggle between the two.
Posted by: Vanessa | 25 January 2007 at 10:23 AM
yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Posted by: april | 25 January 2007 at 07:07 PM
yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Posted by: april | 25 January 2007 at 07:07 PM
FINALLY! Let the stimming begin!
Posted by: hopefulmother | 25 January 2007 at 07:33 PM
Cute :) Good luck!
Posted by: Artblog | 25 January 2007 at 08:36 PM
Fabulous, awesome, major good vibes headed your way!
Posted by: sophie | 26 January 2007 at 03:24 PM
Yes! It's about time for sure!
Posted by: teamwinks | 26 January 2007 at 03:59 PM
You're blog is crackin' me up. Thanks, I needed to giggle. I'll be back.
Posted by: Nicole | 28 January 2007 at 01:42 AM