OK, I Might Have Been Off About the Side Effects...
Right, so remember when I said no side effects?
I had severe dizziness all day on Monday, to the point where I kept sitting down, in case it was that I had stood up too fast, even when I hadn't just stood up from sitting down.
You know what I mean.
Turns out dizziness can be a side effect of Buserelin, so luckily it's not all that crack I'm smoking.
That's just a joke, although I do like to inhale of the whiteboard markers when I'm drawing diagrams in meetings.
Then today, it got worse. In this conference I'm in, we're split up in teams and expected to compete against each other. Wouldn't you know it, I'm a team leader who previously had a more competitive nature than the scary Reese in that Election film-I thought I'd gotten past it but clearly the beast comes out with Buserelin, and when that beast comes out I get so competitive that I think Tonya Harding had a good idea. Add this competitive element to the fact that my team was docked points for something that had nothing to do with us-a few guys were late signing in to the meeting because they needed to pick up one of the competition judges-and it was a recipe for down-reg disaster. I battled fiercely to get the points back, and was promised them. When I hadn't gotten them by the end of the day I made a point of it.
"Oh Vanessa," they laughed in that patronizing Meryl Streep way, "the points are a game, they're only to add an element of fun to the conference!"
Fun? FUN? Mother fucker, you want to talk about fun? Let's get a gallon of KY and George Clooney in the room, that's fun. Open up a crate of Veuve Cliquot champagne and give me a reason to celebrate, that's fun. Let me have some tweezers to pick out the ingrown hairs in my panty line, that might even be fun. But points in a competition? Fun? What do they do on the weekends, pluck puppies?
On the drive home I got so depressed I started crying.
CRYING.
OVER FUCKING POINTS.
And I called Aidan and when he was unavailable I nearly flung myself from the bridge-we lost points and he wasn't there to console me! This is worse than the day I adjusted my wedgie in front of the Starbucks window! This is more depressing than 1,000 pictures of Paris Hilton wallpapered in my bedroom! This was huge-we lost points!
Seriously, the wig factor was high today.
I have calmed down significantly now.
And tomorrow morning when the conference kicks off at 645? I'm getting there at 630. I'm going to sign in every single delegate to the conference early.
They want fun, I'll give them a laugh a minute, man. I'm all about the fun.
I'm with you on the side effects. I'm on day 8 of Lupron, and have a headache the size of Manhattan. Fun times.
I'm glad you didn't fling yourself off that bridge, though. I got a good laugh on your wedgie Starbucks story...
Posted by:hopefulmother | 11 January 2007 at 12:46 AM
oh honey. I think this requires red wine. Lots of it.
Hugs.
Posted by:caltechgirl | 11 January 2007 at 12:58 AM
Ooh! Jetlag + Buserelin + pressure at work. Not fun.
Hang in there. And remember to keep looking at your left hand!
Posted by:BeachGirl | 11 January 2007 at 03:40 AM
Scary.
Wanna hear another funny Starbucks story? I went in one morning for a coffee and pulled what I thought was a $20 bill out of my wallet to pay. I put it on the counter and the girl wouldn't touch it. She looked at the bill, then looked at me. Confused, I looked at the bill and determined that I'd tried to pay her with Canadian Tire money (think Monopoly money for a hardware store). I really needed a coffee that morning!
Posted by:Tinker | 11 January 2007 at 06:00 AM
Ack- side effects.... Pure entitlement babe; hit them where it hurts and get those points back!
Posted by:Meri-ann | 11 January 2007 at 08:26 AM
Oh, Vanessa, this post was simply hilarious! Pluck puppies indeed. How do you make a bad mood sound so funny?
I hope the side effects die down soon, my dear.
Posted by:Kath | 11 January 2007 at 09:29 AM
Vanessa,
Your posts make me roll on the floor laughing. Oh, what would I pay for you to be my next door neighbor! You make a situation that is soooo not funny (been there,) dare I say...amusing!
Becky
Posted by:teamwinks | 11 January 2007 at 04:27 PM
Next time, take that judge hostage. How rude!
Posted by:Lut C. | 11 January 2007 at 10:22 PM
Those Starbucks stories are hilarious!!
Sorry you are having a crap time with the down-regs. How many days left of this "fun" do you have left?!
Hopefully not too many!
Hoping things go better for you, my dear CB! ;)
Take care,
Nilla
xx
Posted by:'Nilla @ Vanilla Dreams | 12 January 2007 at 06:04 AM