The Temperature is Slowly Rising
Right, so the scan today revealed that I'm now at 11 eggs, which isn't stellar but it does meet egg share requirements. Egg share in the UK works thus: the donee pays the cost of her IVF cycle and my IVF cycle, provided I have at least 8 eggs. If I don't make the 8 egg department (4 each, and should I have 9 eggs then I get the extra one), then I have two choices:
1) I pay the clinic the cost of her cycle and my cycle and I keep my eggs.
2) I give her all the eggs and my next cycle at the clinic is free.
Rock? Meet Hard Place. Hard place, this is Rock.
So hopefully we'll make the grade. I am to stay on the high dose of Menopur and see if some of the smaller follicles can catch up-some of my big follicles are still the same size (around 15mm), but most are 8-9 mm now. There is a risk that in trying to catch up the little follicles I will lose my big follicles, so I'm now thinking of all my follicles in there as being something blown out of the plastic tube of Wonder Bubble in the back garden on a hot summer day.
The moods aren't good here-me because I'm worried about this cycle, Aidan because he hates going to the clinic so much. 11 is better, but I still don't feel I am out of the woods here. Maybe it's because this is IVF, and as with all things fertility I am a natural pessimist, because being a pessimist hurts less. I should be doing cartwheels that I have 11 I know-I know that for a lot of women, 11 is a bumper crop. I guess I'm just struggling because my body has always rocked on like a party animal on the minimum doses before. Truthfully, I felt like my body let me down when I miscarried, and now my body is slightly letting me down again.
I used to think the hard part in IVF was getting the embryos to implant. Then I thought the hard part was getting them to stay. Now? Now I just think the whole fucking thing is hard.
Today I'm going to work on being positive. I was positive before, I'm going to get positive again. I hope to return with a slightly more humorous outlook in my next post, I'll go mainline some Robin Williams and see where it gets me.
Next scan is on Friday, at which point we count up the number of ranch hands in the corrall and decide if Monday we do egg retrieval or if it gets pushed to next Wednesday.
Party on.
Eleven is good. I like eleven. Eleven starts with "E," just like "easy" and "effective," which is how I'm crossing my fingers it all goes for you.
Posted by:ilyka | 31 January 2007 at 11:52 AM
That's a little encouraging at least.
I hear you about the numbers, I've even just posted about it this very day.
A natural pessimist, that would be me too. I really have to put in a effort to stay positive, or even just neutral about our current attempt.
Posted by:Lut C. | 31 January 2007 at 12:01 PM
Eleven sounds good, you never know they might fine one or two more.
My clinic insists that although we are all either good or poor or medium responders, each cycle for each woman is very different. So don't freak out on your body just yet. It's doing its best.
Posted by:thalya | 31 January 2007 at 01:17 PM
Praying for you that the 11 are good and that you are saved from being between a rock and a hard place.
Posted by:Polichick | 31 January 2007 at 03:16 PM
Party on, Wayne.
Sending positive vibes you way. I know all too well how the pessimistic thoughts can creep in through the cracks.
James won't even come with my to my scan appointments. Although, I'm sure he'd be thrilled with the conversation that happens in that small room.
"Inserting ... and there are your bowels! Someone needs to poop!"
Ergh.
Posted by:Michele | 31 January 2007 at 04:26 PM
Justin never went to my appointments either. I wanted him to save his vacation days.
Yup, that would be the correct definition of a rock and a hard place!
Posted by:teamwinks | 31 January 2007 at 06:30 PM
bah, I hate numbers, they always work against me and I can't "get" them. Me, I am a "word" girl! So, will be working my word mojo and thinking of you guys!
Posted by:Sarah | 31 January 2007 at 09:13 PM
Glad they're getting up there.... keep partying dude... x
Posted by:Meri-ann | 31 January 2007 at 09:22 PM
Wow, what a stressful situation -- I had no idea that the eggshare program could be so all or nothing.
I am keeping my fingers crossed that everything gets to where it needs to be and that you're not forced to make any hard decisions.
This whole thing is just hard enough on its own!
Posted by:Watson | 31 January 2007 at 09:47 PM
11 was a great number for me this cycle - in fact, the most I had ever had.
This eggshare thing is pretty stressful - I wonder how the "other woman" is handling it...?
Hoping you will both get lots of good eggs!
Posted by:hopefulmother | 01 February 2007 at 12:06 AM
Yeah... the whole thing is fucking hard. And stressful. I'll drink in your honor tonight... you just keep eating eggs & working on being positive. :) I hope your scan on Friday rocks.
Posted by:carey | 01 February 2007 at 01:59 AM
Sure wish I could just post you a few extras from here. But then, they'd probably figure it out when the kid showed up with a Canadian accent.
Posted by:Tinker | 01 February 2007 at 03:57 AM
Sorry this cycle is turning into such a stressful event for you...as if IVF isn't stressful enough when things are going "well." Siiiigh.
Glad that there is a little bit of encouraging news though, and I hope that things continue to improve.
Please keep us updated, I hope that there are lots of nice size follicles at your next scan, and that things can move ahead as planned.
And, you're right. The whole damned IVF thing is fucking hard. And it sucks.
Sorry you are dealing with all of this.
Good luck!!
xx
Nilla
Posted by:'Nilla @ Vanilla Dreams | 01 February 2007 at 09:08 AM
I've always wondered about the egg share program. I've seen TV shows about it & wondered if it would work in Australia.
Wishing you all the best. I hope you gets you magic number of egg & then a magic BFP.
Posted by:Jules | 01 February 2007 at 10:43 AM
Many good thoughts headed your way....for eggs, peace, and success.
Posted by:sophie | 01 February 2007 at 10:05 PM