Top 5 Things You Never Think You'll Hear at the Fertility Clinic and OH MY GOD

So I've been thinking about the things I've heard that I never expected to hear at the fertility clinic:

1) Yup.  It's twins.

2) Your uterus is perfect!  It's so fat!

3) If it's ok with you, I'm afraid this scan will have to be an external one, not an internal one.  No need to take your underwear off.

4) Hmmm...looks like you and Aidan need to update your syphilis tests.  (No, neither of us have it, the clinic is just sticklers for having the tests updated every year.)

5) The next time we see you, you'll be bringing the babies in to see us!

6) You'll get to be on the waxy ass bullets until you're 28 weeks pregnant!  (OK, they don't call them waxy ass bullets, but you get my drift).

 

I'm sure there's more, it'll come to me.

So.  Here I am, at 9w2d.  I'm still spotting  lightly (still brown).  I wanted some kind of pregnancy journal to keep track of everything, but not only couldn't I find one for twins (I could just imagine them years from now-What, even then we were just twins, we couldn't have our own books? but they're all Anne Geddes-schmucky-cutesy.  I couldn't bear to write my thoughts and fears in a book that either had a cover with a baby dressed as a pea pod or a pregnant woman smugly rubbing her stomach, not looking nearly as haggard as I do.  So I bought a blank book and started keeping a diary of daily life, including symptoms, the results of my daily morning weigh-ins, and a list of what I eat during the day.

And can I just say that a pack of rhinos in the zoo can't compare with the amount of food I'm eating.

With the exception of one or two days when I fell off the wagon (can you say Cheese Doodles?), I've been eating very, very healthily.  I do have to snack throughout the day, mostly to keep the nausea at bay (it peaks first thing in the morning and at dinnertime, the rest of the time I'm generally ok.)  But when I snack, it tends to be things like yogurt, cottage cheese, crackers, fruit and granola.  I'm being particular about this-I don't see having twins as the chance to eat for three, in fact the books say that even with twins, although I do need to gain about 35-50 pounds (and am currently up 4.5 pounds from my pre-pregnant fighting weight), my daily caloric intake should only be 700-1000 more calories a day than I was eating.

Which, before I got pregnant, I really wasn't eating much.  Yogurt for breakfast.  Sandwich and fruit for lunch.  Healthy dinner.  I was living the life, man, living the life.

So I'm trying to control my diet.  I did freak out one day and HAD to have a Kit Kat, which I ate then regretted once I saw it was 27 grams of fat in that bad boy.  It's true that I am one of those mental types who has struggled with anorexia and bulemia for the majority of her life, but trust me when I say that won't be a problem for me now-there's absolutely no chance in hell I'm starving myself, as there are two others counting on me (plus the nausea won't allow it.)  I just want to have a healthy pregnancy as full of vitamins and nutrients as possible.  So I've bought some ice milk, which is surprisingly very good, tastes just like ice cream, and is loaded with calcium.  And that's ok, because I can't seem to get enough calcium products lately-it's all I want to eat.  Cheese, yogurt, cottage cheese, iced milk, all of them.  It's a huge craving.

Which brings me to my other quandry, and that's what my hormones have on the "avoidance" list.  Suddenly, my "dear God, get those away from me NOW" list is real.  It includes:

- Baco-s (which aren't even bacon).
- Marmite (but I've never liked the stuff)
- Any and all vegetables.

That last one is a real problem for me, because not only should I be eating loads of them, but I'm a fucking vegetarian.  I love(d) vegetables of all kinds (except kidney beans, those are foul and should be banned.  I'm sure they cause cancer.  See?  Should be banned.)  I used to eat veggies all the time, and we had massive salads for dinner several times a week.  Now I honestly have to force myself and my gag reflex to eat a small salad. 

On the symptom front, I have the following:

- Sheer, complete and total exhaustion.  I'm practically narcoleptic.  I'm forever going to look back on my first trimester as "That Period Where I Slept On the Couch All the Time".  The best accompaniment to this sleeping interlude is Charmed.  I've found having it on in the background is incredibly helpful, nothing puts me to sleep like Prue's battling with the demons, and at least I get to avoid Paige's painful, clay-like lip gloss while I sleep.  I can't explain it, I've never really watched that show, but I do sleep like a baby when that show is on now.

- Constipation.  I know, I totally said that wasn't a problem, but it became one.  So I went and got a bag of organic prunes while Aidan was in Stockholm, and without thinking, I ate the whole bag.  Lemme' just say this-if you have constipation, you can probably get by with eating just one or two of the things.  The whole bag, it might be overkill.  The farting was so massive the dog even left the room to get away from me (that fucking hypocrite), but at least it did the trick.  I've now stepped up the amount of water I drink to 4,392 litres a day.  It does the trick.  I'm so sick and bloody tired of water you wouldn't believe it, but my clinic seems to think it's the miracle drug.  Constipated?  Drink water!  Have leprosy?  Drink water!  Convicted felon?  Drink water!

- Depression.  That's right, I got the blues.  To be honest, I also have the typical hormones associated with pregnant people-I go from instant joy to instant tears in less time than it takes Britney Spears to shave her head.  But I am also succumbing to the depression a bit, which is a possible risk if you are someone with a history of depression, as I have.  I'm not really talking much and I've been cancelling on meet-ups I have with friends (which is probably ok, as everytime I leave the house I need a 4 hour nap to recover). I'll keep an eye on it, but maybe there's simply still that element of OH MY GOD to my every emotion, our shock still hasn't dissipated - I'm happy that it worked, but OH MY GOD.   What will my life look like after they're born, OH MY GOD.   I can't believe their little hearts are beating still and they're moving, and OH MY GOD.  Aidan and I are stressed about money, travel, accommodation, and relationships, OH MY GOD.

- Dreams.  Weird, trippy, hippy bizarre dreams. They tend to fall in three categories:

1) sexual

2) nightmares

3) food-related

I have more horny dreams than a teenager, man.  Seriously.  Just last night I combined two of the categories in one and dreamt I was making out with a conquistador made out of baked cheese.

Now that was a good dream.

Comments

[ilyka]

My heart is breaking over the vegetable aversion. How cruel a pregnancy symptom is that?!?

It's really just about all of them? How about soups? Purees? Yeah, not as vitamin-loaded as salads, but I just feel terrible that this has happened to you. I do not want to give the dreaded assvice, and yet I wish so much there was something I could do to help.

Here's hoping it passes faster than a prune fart.

[Kath]

Dear Vanessa, OMG indeed. I hear you on the prunes -- I did that too, much to my regret. I hope your exhaustion clears up, like mine did. For a while there, I was starting to feel like Kath van Winkle.

And I'm so sorry about your depression. I hope it leaves you soon.

[marie-baguettte]

your story about the bag of prunes is priceless! Don't worry about veggies, you will feel better soon. The first trimester is tough -- the nausea, the exhaustion, the hormones running you crazy, the sense of isolation (you can't tell of the pregnancy), the fears, the guilt at bitching about the pregnancy after infertility.... All I can say is that it will get better soon. Rest, eat your calcium (I too was obsessed with dairy products), and you are going to be fine!

[Mina Wolf]

My biggest help with constipation (aside from a stool softener every 3 or 4 days. Yes that's TMI but it really helped) was fruit. Primarily pears and apples because of how much fiber they have.

By the way, I envy your discipline in keeping that journal. I really should have started one but there were way too many things going on in my head to think clearly.

[Mia]

V, you have no idea how much joy I have just had from reading this post. I'm so happy that you get to play the game of cravings and napping.
Take care ~hugs~

[Tracey]

I love your blog.. I am addicted to you now! LOL..

For the constipation... the nurses at the hospital where my sister delivered had a drink they called the Bomb... it worked. It was 1/2 prune juice and 1/2 pineapple juice. Tasty and Effective!

[jen]

I was off of veggies during my pregnancy as well. Just could not stomach the mere idea of them. Neither could I tolerate anything sweet so fruit was out, too. I craved bacon and cheese and nothing else would do.

Check with your doctor about taking the stool softener - Colace worked best for me. I had more severe morning sickness, requiring Zofran to curb the vomiting and that causes constipation. Colace was my best friend for a few weeks.

[Jen(aside)]

I had the best sex dreams ever when I was pregnant.

I kind of miss them. :\

[Karen]

I completely, 100% share your OH MY GOD sentiment. That's precisely how I feel most of the time. On all counts. I'm going to have triplets (maybe), hooray, but OH MY GOD. We're going to have to figure out where to put them OH MY GOD. They're growing, but OH MY GOD!

I also tried finding a multiples birth diary thingy, but couldn't find anything for twins, let alone triplets. I also feel like I might be tempting fate if I get a triplets book. And anyway, every time in my life I've resolved to keep some kind of diary, I've failed to do so after a day or two. Once I went a whole week before abandoning the project. A whole week!

[Margi]

As you know, I am again the mother of an adorable 14 month-old. And a not-so-adorable 19 YEAR-old. And an completely squeezable 16 year-old.

So, you'll recall when I found out I was pregnant again at 40?

Yep. You guessed it.

OH. MY. GOD.

And you know what? You get used to it.

As for the depression? Yup, had that, too. Before, during and after.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm incredibly happy for you (still) and I also still remember what that OMYGOD phase felt like. And I have really big listening ears (or would that be "reading eyes?) and I'm always, always here for you.

The aversions? She pass.

I'm praying that your second trimester was like mine, too -- what I called the "Earth Mother" phase. You feel good, you look good (well, as good as a gal can look knocked up) and you eat and sleep well. It's a honeymoon compared to the first trimester.

So, hang in there! And let me know if I can lend an ear (eye, whatever)!

Love you longtime,
M

[Carol]

You must be reading a different twins book than I've got - the one I got says I should be getting a ton of calories and protein - I think it said 170 grams of protein a day! But basically everything I've read says that you really shouldn't worry about gaining too much weight when pregnant with multiples.

You're symptoms sound very similar to mine. I can't get enough milk, yogurt. I can't really bear the thought of a vegetable either - but I have been eating tons of fruit, and fruit smoothies - and I think that is helping a lot with the constipation.

I also think the depression might be pretty strongly linked to the exhaustion - I feel so wiped out after I try to do anything or interact with anyone - that it's easier to just hang out in my bed and not attempt to face the world.

[caltechgirl]

Everything sounds great, even though I know it's tough.

LMAO at the poor dog and the prune farts! Hypocrite, indeed!

Love and Hugs from CA!

[Sara]

I'll definitely take your prune advice to heart when (if) we're finally pregnant. Gladys ate cheese yesterday, which would preclude her from ever passing canine judgement on MY bodily functions!

Take good care of yourself!

[wombat]

here's a post from one of my favorite blogs about dairy products:

http://babyfruit.typepad.com/baby/2007/03/highfat_dairy_p.html#comments

maybe you should splurge and eat the real ice CREAM! Have fun eating.

[Lady In Waiting]

I also have a history of eating disorders: first compulsive overeating and then compulsive exercising. Please remember that no foods are really "good" or "bad" and that it is perfectly ok to have a fattening treat now and then! Sounds like you are eating incredibly healthy overall, which is great.

I also have a history of depression and have been taking Citalopram for years now. I checked with my OB to make sure it was ok to stay on it even while pregnant (when and if that ever happens!). So many women are on ADs while pregnant that it is unbelievable and certain classes of those meds are safe during pregnancy (including mine). I learned that many women actually get prescribed anti-depressants during pregnancy to help with the depression that came with the hormonal changes. Keep in mind that this is an option for you if you feel you need it.

Wishing you all the best!

[teamwinks]

Once I stop laughing I may be able to formulate an intelligent response! Nope, not possible. I'll come back later and try again!

[Victoria]

I found your blog this weekend via another blog (sorry can't remember which other blog it was now) Anyway, I have now read the archives and up to present date. I love your writing style and just wanted to wish you and your fella all the best with the pregnancy.

Best Wishes~

[jenny]

Everyone's pregnancy is different, but the consitpation and dreams are still part of my life at 9mths pg. It could be worse though so if that's as bad as it gets, you'll be as lucky as I have been.

[canape]

Done the prunes. Lived to tell. Lit a lot of candles. Did a lot of laundry.

[Hallie]

I came across your blog via a different blog (not sure which one). Firstly, congratulations!

Re: Having twins...it's not that bad, honest! My younger sisters are twins (fraternal). They're 19 now, but it was definitely a shock to my poor mother's system when she found out that she was expecting them. Apparently the sonographer said 'do you see that' and my mum said 'yes', thinking 'that poor baby has got two heads'. This is back before ultrasounds were normal practice. Certainly mum and dad hadn't bargained on getting a buy one get one free offer; they already had three children! Nevertheless, things seem to have worked out okay for us.

If you are interested, it might be worth checking out twinsclub (www.twinsclub.co.uk) for more useful information on having twins; at least you'd be able to hear how other people cope with multiples.

Good luck, and I look forward to reading more of your posts!

PS - Getting each twin a separate book is definitely a good idea - my parents have never heard the end of the fact that my sisters had to share a birthday cake once upon a time...