Circling Over the Airport
(Warning-with picture below. If you're feeling upset or fragile today, you maybe want to skip this post.)
I'm 13w3d today.
The cramps have stopped (well, I still have some cramps, but they're back to the level they were pre-CVS, and the consultant told me that's just my uterus stretching. It's official. I have Play Doh Uterus.) and I haven't had a single bit of bleeding or anything like that. It's true I have a headache and a cough, but I've had both for some weeks now, so neither of them worries me. I won't know for sure until I see my consultant on Tuesday (and beg him for a check to just make sure they're ok, as I won't have another scan for 7 weeks now and post-CVS I do want to make sure they're ok), but I am beginning to think I'm in the clear.
I think I am ok. I think I haven't miscarried. I might be wrong, but I have no symptoms to suggest otherwise.
I've been doing weekly pictures of my stomach since finding out I was pregnant, just so that I can have a record. I nearly didn't do one this week as I felt I've had too much on, but this week? This week was starting to own me. I was so afraid of losing anything, I was so afraid of miscarrying, I didn't even want to think about pregnancy.
Then I decided that fear can go grab itself by the ankles and fuck itself.
Today I'm 13w3d. Tomorrow, I will be 13w4d. I will make this pregnancy continue if I have to go in there myself and sort things out.
Results Monday, although unfortunately both Aidan and I are in an all-day meeting in London, so I'll be diving out of it every time the phone rings.
Last night I dreamt the doctor called to tell us the results. In my dream he told us the sex, too (which we will be clear about, we don't want to know.)
In my dream, I dreamt that I have a chromosomally normal baby. And it's a girl.
And dammit, I'm going to just believe that, too.
That chick who wrote that book Oprah is cawing about (if you believe it, it will come) has NOTHING on me.
So this is me yesterday with a total weight gain of 5.5 kilos (12 pounds), all of which seems to have been put on in the "baby approrpriate area" (click to embiggen and gawk at what has all the signs of "you should really do more sit-ups).
Dear Vanessa, I am so glad to hear that there have been no adverse effects so far. And you're handling the holding pattern remarkably well. I hope this weekend passes as quickly as possible, and that you can continue that meeting on Monday with a huge smile of relief on your face.
Posted by: Kath | 28 April 2007 at 10:41 AM
YAY! look at that belly I want to blow a big old raspberry on it, good luck sista I am thinking 100 percent good thoughts, I think you are gonna be just fine with two healthy lemonheads!
Posted by: Cheryl | 28 April 2007 at 12:52 PM
Ohhhh.. so glad to hear that you have not had any side affects! What a perfect 13w4d belly!
Posted by: Tracey | 28 April 2007 at 02:33 PM
so glad to hear you are doing well and that the awful cramping is gone. Waiting to her about the results -- sure that it will again be a false alarm. Are you sure you don't want to know the sex? I am asking because knowing was great for us. We felt more involved in the pregnancy, as it made the whole thing more real. And we have had enough surprises at that point! Thinking of you
Posted by: marie-baguette | 28 April 2007 at 02:39 PM
I love that belly....really, I *heart* it!!
Posted by: Teresa | 28 April 2007 at 03:19 PM
Trust your instincts, as another commenter on an older post has already said - They have done good for you so far!!
And the belly snap is cool, you and the Lemonheads are blossoming !!
Posted by: Sarnie | 28 April 2007 at 03:56 PM
awwwww Mama Lemonhead you look lovely~
Seems that prayers for successfully coming through the testing process have been answered. Can I get an Amen? :)
I have a gut feeling about Mondays results...I think our guts are related :)
Posted by: Victoria | 28 April 2007 at 06:21 PM
Amen.
Posted by: canape | 28 April 2007 at 06:53 PM
Amen :0)
Posted by: Sarnie | 28 April 2007 at 07:13 PM
You look wonderful! Still keeping my fingers and toes and eyes and ears and everything crossed for you for Monday's results.
Posted by: caltechgirl | 29 April 2007 at 04:23 AM
That's the kayootest baby bump I've ever seen!
Posted by: Margi | 30 April 2007 at 12:58 AM
Oh, girl, you are still so tiny! I'm bigger than you and I'm only almost 10 weeks with just one baby in there!
Posted by: Radish | 30 April 2007 at 04:30 PM
I'm on tenterhooks here... I hope you've found out by now and are fully reassured.
Posted by: Kath | 30 April 2007 at 07:20 PM