Just an Update-y Kind of Post

This week we're looking at neighborhood nurseries for the twins-I'm very worried about the cost of putting two infants in nursery, and it looks like we'll be paying about £1500 and up a month, but we're keen on nurseries as they're Ofsted checked, they are only closed on dates when we have off work, too, and we think the socialization with other kids is important.  I had a bit of a dust up on my other blog about our choice for me to return to work, but the truth is we feel it's best for our family.  We don't want to move from our very safe and secure neighborhood, we don't want me to be dependent on him as the sole breadwinner (and we don't want him to have the stress of being a sole breadwinner of not only our two kids, but of his two kids as well).  Our kids will be lucky enough (we think) to only have day care several days a week, so we're looking for a nursery that will allow the flexibility to let us keep them there Tues-Thurs, and they'll be home with me Monday and Friday (my boss has agreed to this flex working schedule and I'm very grateful).  So please-no lectures.  Being a stay-at-home mom is a great choice, going back to work is a great choice, it's all up to the individual as to what they'd rather do.  For us, we're going back to work. 

This morning I was laying in bed, curled up in the warm spot left behind by the furnace known as "man" as he went to walk the dog, and I felt my stomach do something strange.  The whole thing got very, very tight, peaked, and then sort of shifted in one go, settling back into the bathroom sink known as my hips.  I don't really know what it was (it didn't worry me though) but it was a reminder that I am truly in a Sigourney Weaver film.

This past week my stomach has suddenly emerged.  I have gone from a poofy paunch to having some evidence that I am packing an infant in me.  I'm not truly obvious still, which is strange, because I see pictures of women carrying just one baby at 15 weeks and they're twice the size I am, how is it with twins that I'm only barely showing?  Although in some ways I'm happy - it will be nice to stop worrying now that a well-intentioned passer-by will lean over and recommend a good gym I should join - I'm only nearly 15 weeks into this.  I have another 22 weeks to go, and if I'm now showing then it's all just going to get bigger from here. 

I keep dreaming that I feel them move, and in truth that should be any day now.  Although most women with singletons and on their first baby don't feel the baby until after 16 weeks (and our ultrasound tech suggested they feel them more like 22 weeks), apparently with twins they'll make an appearance earlier, especially since one of them is hovering just under the surface of my stomach.  Our consultant suggested that I should soon feel at least one of them, so I keep wondering if and when.  The truth is, I'm not going to have a clue what's what in there unless one of the kids pops a hand out of my navel with a sign that says "Hey!  Ma!  THAT was a kick, ok?"  My insides are so bizarrely out of the normal range of what I know that for all I know I could be hosting hamster races inside of there.  I feel like my body's completely out of my control these days, I have no idea what's going on and there's a new sensation all the time (and not in the Beach Boys kind of way).

I have been having round ligament pain, which, if you read the books or  check wikipedia it sounds like an inconvenient little stomach cramp that you have when you sneeze, then you laugh a tinkly laugh, point your fairy wand at the door, and float to your next appointment.  The truth is, round ligament pain (at least in my world) feels more like someone's reached in, scrunched up your uterus in a fist, and then twisted.  It's worse when you switch position, say from sitting to standing.  The pains don't last long but they are powerfully unpleasant.  If this is even a fraction of what labor pains feel like, then get me the epidural now, because I'm not fucking around with cramps like these. 

I still get nauseous when I wake up if I don't eat right away, but the constant rolling feeling of feeling pukey has passed for the most part.  I also still need a lot of sleep but I don’t spend my afternoons partying on the couch with the sandman and syndicated episodes of Charmed anymore.  I wouldn't say I'm ready to solve world peace but I do have more energy, although it's still less energy than I had pre-pregnancy.  I have really, really vivid dreams at night, so vivid that half the time I wake up convinced it really happened.  I do suffer from mind-numbing, debilitating migraines.  The consultant says mothers of multiples are at higher risk of severe headaches, although he assured me that the headaches should subside soon, only to return just before they're due. 

Something to look forward to then.

My weight is fluctuating wildly, so it looks as though I go anywhere from 5-7 kilos in weight gain (12-15 pounds).  I don't have any of those amazing food craving stories to tell, there's nothing that I crave per se, but when I'm hungry I have to eat right now, and if I don't eat I could easily turn cannibal.  I am eating more than I did pre-pregnancy, but I wouldn't say I'm eating masses.  I'm tempted to put marshmallow crème in everything that Aidan eats, because if the day comes that I weigh more than he does, then just hang your head out the window because I don't doubt you'll hear me screaming from there. 

So I hang out and wait.  I wonder what's going to happen next.  It's kind of like a roller coaster, only I'm wearing a blindfold so I can't tell what's going on with the tracks.

Finally, for the mothers of multiples, I've found our new mascot.     

Comments

[Victoria]

Love your roller coaster analogy...how very appropriate! The ride has only begun and though it is a wild one it's the best ride there is. Truly ;)

Round ligament pain sucks. Labor sucks...no way around it. You'll do what's best for you when that time comes. Drugs or no drugs is the choice of the one in pain.

Daycare can be a touchy subject but you won't get any flack from me. Though I was a stay at home mom with my 4 I did do home daycare for parents who had to return to work. What worked for me does not necessarily work for anyone else. I could stay home...but with 4 children to feed, clothe, educate and house extra income was much needed. So I hear you on not wanting Aidan to bear the full brunt of the only breadwinner. I also hear you on not wanting to be dependent upon anyone else. I think it is important for women, especially those with children, to have the ability to support themselves should that need arise.

I think it's wonderful that your employer is willing to work with you and your hours at work. Flex time should be available to all but sadly it's not. There'd be much happier employees, employers and families out there if it was.

Glad to hear you're feeling better and believe me when the Lemonheads kick...you'll know it ;)

[Tracey]

Time is chugging along! I so enjoy reading all about it!

I think each family should do what works for them. For some that means staying home and for others it means off to work.

Take Care and have a wonderful week!

[Mina Wolf]

Loved you mascot. As far as showing, I'm sure your height will lessen it to a certain degree but the twins will even it out soon enough.

My first movement felt like there was a fish that did a flop type thing in my belly. It came right after a really bad episode of the stomach flu. I was about 16 weeks then. The consistent movement started at about 20 weeks. Since then he basically hasn't stopped moving.

Once again, I'm so excited for you :)

[Katie]

Some professional advice (I'm a developmental psychology lecturer and researcher). Nurseries which are good and up to date will have one key worker per child, who will stay the same throughout their time at nursery. This is really the best way for children to be secure at nursery - for them it is like having Granny/a nanny/child minder look after them full time, rather than having a bewildering array of different people who change every few months or weeks (or even days, in some cases).

[Carol]

Sounds like you are progressing along and feeling very much the same as me. I am terrified of the day that the scale says I weigh more than J. I've got a ways to go before that - but I'm sure it will happen if I gain the average amount of weight for twins. yikes!

[Lut C.]

Going back to work is much taken for granted in my area. I don't know anyone who has decided to be a SAHM, mostly because no one feels they can afford it (or wants to lower their standard of living).

I hope you find a good nursery.

[caltechgirl]

I hope you find a place close by that you are pleased with and isn't terribly expensive.

The mascot you've chosen is (IMHO) both perfect and hilarious!

[Lindsay]

I would love to be stay at home mom someday. It won't ever happen, though..we have no choice but to be a two-income family. And I do think daycare is good for kids. They pick up so many things from other kids, besides germs. Verbal and social skills are vastly improved, from some things that I've read. AND they learn important things like how to pick your nose and that farting is funny. Or maybe that's just what I learned in daycare, lol. That and that naps and snacks are two of the best things in life.

[statia]

You could always instate the rule that we had in our house when I was pregnant. I'm sure Aidan would love that. (of course, you could just mainline him Ben and Jerry's while he's sleeping and he'd be none the wiser.

The movement is definitely cool. Towards the end, it started to get uncomfortable, but it never got old for me for some reason.

[hopefulmother]

Yeah, my tummy has emerged too - people are making pg comments to me finally - and not just wondering if I've eaten too many donuts!

I had what I think was the first fluttering movements at around 15w5d... but haven't felt much since.

We will be doing the daycare thing too at some point - the first year will probably be a mix of mommy/daddy day care and both of us working part time. I think day care is good for kids to an extent - so you won't hear any arguing from me! And everyone needs to do what is best for their family.

[nursery nurse]

You're definitely facing a hefty childcare bill, but don't forget that you ought to get (two!) generous nursery vouchers through your employer as part of the UK government's childcare support scheme. Be sure to look into it if you haven't already.

[Amanda]

Thanks for the update. I'm glad things are finally less eventful with you and the Lemonheads.
Love the mascot! I can't wait to see the movie!
xoxo

[Tortuguita]

Clearly, I'm biased, due to my own profession, but have you considered hiring a part-time nanny instead?
How comparable is the cost of a nanny vs. nursery care?
Also, there are some pretty great au pair services, in which you can trade out room and board for childcare. Just a thought.

[Matthew M. F. Miller]

I agree with Tortuguita! My bosses had a part-time nanny help raise their son, and they say it was the greatest decision they ever made.

Plus, she spoke Spanish, so he's bilingual, which is pretty great.