The Fun

OK.  So I'm nearly 30 weeks along now, and my stomach looks like something out of a Herman Melville novel.  It's Sunday and you know what I'm up to today?

Absolutely nothing.

At all.

In fact, time might be moving backwards in this house.

We've had the week from hell, as Aidan's son has gone from "Delighted About Babies" to "End of the Fucking World" in the space of one month.  One month.  The month was not July, the true calendar month is called "Time the Son Spent With the Bitter and Hurt Mother Who is Bent On Getting Back At Her Ex-Husband". It's a long name for a month but one growing in popularity.   Things haven't been good here and we feel like we've been emotionally napalmed, so I'm sat on the couch today watching the downloaded episodes of Grey's Anatomy that Aidan got for me (we're a bit behind over here.  Season 3 just started a few months ago.  We're neglected.)

I've also been having contractions, a few an hour (the most was 3 an hour) and so chilling?  It's the best idea ever.  The house is a wreck (we're in between moving things around rooms between studies to get nursery space ready and there are random piles of things on their merry way between one room and another), I'm disorganized all over the place as I'm undergoing The Big Purge of 2008 whereby I pillage my belongings and give them away in a combination between stress and hormones, laundry needs finishing and a table needs to be done painting, there is loads to be done, and I just don't fucking care.  I haven't even showered yet today, and although there's a bubble bath with my name on it later, I'll get to it when I get to it.

They say when you get to the third trimester the Footloose and Fancy Free Time that you have had in the second trimester goes away.  I would say that they're right, and what they don't tell you is that the Third Trimester Suck starts with an impact not unlike hitting a brick wall at a hundred miles an hour.  You can't sleep anymore because you can't get comfortable-it's a huge production to move from one side to another.  747's roll with greater grace and speed than I do.  I pee constantly, which I am grateful about as it just means the infection's kept at bay.  The heartburn comes in during the evening with a vengeance that I couldn't possibly predict.  I periodically have to get on all fours and rock back and forth to get one of the babies off my lungs, because they start to compress on them and breathing (which is muy importante) becomes very difficult.  The restless leg makes life uncomfortable.

And the leg cramps...

Ah, the leg cramps.

Luckily, as I was screaming in bed with one not long ago, Aidan calmly grabbed my leg and instructed me to "Grab my flipper."

"What the hell, do you think I'm Charlie Fucking Starkist?  I am not a dolphin!" I shout, rolling around the bed like a naked, pregnant trout. 

"No," he says calmly, grabbing my calf and flexing my foot.  I found when he did it, the cramp instantly eased.  "Didn't you pay attention in the PADI dive courses?  They tell you to grab your flipper to prevent leg cramps."

"I...took...NAUI...courses," I gasp as the cramps ease. 

So lesson learned.  As soon as leg cramps come I grab my flipper.  Saves the day every time.

I continue to grow rounder but I continue to not gain weight.  The babies kick constantly and sometimes it hurts so much it makes me want to vomit, sometimes I am absolutely convinced that the nausea is going to best me.  The ultrasound tech said they'd be running out of room shortly, and I can see that might be the case as our son's rump seems to permanently hang out of my left side. 

Tomorrow I see my therapist (yes, I still see a therapist.  I like to think it's a good thing).  But I won't be booking up another appointment for a while, I think, as the trek into London is so hard on me.  I may not be seeing him again until after the babies come, which is a shame as there's a lot on my mind.

So there you have it.  I'm honestly hoping to deliver the babies in 6 weeks' time.  We'll take it day by day in the meantime, and I personally will be hoping to make it through a full night with some sleep.

Now if only that guy with the orange vest and the glow sticks would stop trying to navigate me from side to side.

Comments

[BeachGirl]

So I know the train thing is hard, but could A drive you to & pick you up from the therapist? Because it seems like if it would be helpful to you, it would be worth trying to figure out how to continue to go.

So sorry about all the suckiness right now.

BG
PS-- Naked pregnant trout!! Ha ha.

[statia]

Dude. I tried telling you that the third trimester sucks IMMEDIATELY. I tried.

[Laura]

I'm with BeachGirl in saying so sorry for all the suckiness right now.

Just a thought about the therapist thing...could you do over the phone sessions? Or what about emails? I once did therapy that involved writing in a journal and having my therapist make comments. It was really helpful. It would be like blog meets therapist.

[Lut C.]

My house looks exactly like that. We've bought some furniture at everyone's favourite flat box store.

Emptying the study has left the rest of the place look like a whirlwind hit.

With just the singleton in there, I've been able to pull my weight, well a fraction of it.
I hope you're just coordinating things from the couch!

[canape]

Ah. My stepdaughter just spent half of that month with the almost same exact name with her mother. Fun for all.

[Donna]

My daughter had her baby girl, Karlee Ryann at 920 pm the 16th, she weighed 8 lbs, 12 oz, 20 inches long, and had to be delivered by c section due to her heart rate going to 225 during contractions which we found was due to her cord around her neck. She was kept in nicu for 2 days, and then finally was allowed to go home on Sunday. She is gorgeous! (And big as a house,she looked like she was beached in the first pictures I took of her. My daughter would have NEVER gotten her out, and this was her fourth baby, and the biggest.)
I spent the last 4 days having to be pleasant to the stepmonster, who started crying when they decided to do the c section, and ran over and grabbed me and expected me to console her. I spent the next few minutes trying to feel the knife in my back...believe me I know how it is when the other party is whacked, our situations are reversed in that I am the normal one, she is the whacko, I am the mom she is the step monster, but trust me, I feel your pain. She even told my son that she was his real mother, I was just his "birth" mother. I can't see you ever doing anything so out of line, all I hear from you are positive ways of dealing with what your steps are going thru, and trust me, you are doing an excellent job, and they will gravitate to who ever brings less drama to their lives, and that would be you. The fact that she is blaming you for all kinds of weird shit is beside the point. You are entitled to be a mother, a wife, and a happy person, what she thinks about you and tries to convince the kids of, does not define you. Hang in there, it's all worth it the first time you get to hold the little ones!

[caltechgirl]

Leg cramps suck. Severely. I used to get them every year when we started band camp (yeah, ha ha, band camp) and we would spend 6 hours a day standing in the sun learning the field shows, so I know where you are. That "grab the flipper" foot flex is almost miraculous how well it works. Enjoy your TV and relax!

[Poppy]

ugh...leg cramps, nausea, constant peeing, lack of breathing and all the rest of the third trimester goodies...topped off by a shrew of an ex. A pox on her. You have enough to deal with so just regulate her where she belongs...out of the picture...way out.

I know that is so much easier said than done but the less you react to the boys attitude and the more you and A can keep your composure the faster it will go. At least I hope so.

I also agree with whoever suggested tele-sessions with the therapist or even journaling and then sharing via email and then getting comments back. This is a rough time for you all things considered not having your therapist to vent to might be too much.

Hugs to you~

[TeamWinks]

Sorry about the cramps, but glad to hear you have a technique to manage them. How about another belly picture?

[Uccellina]

I just wanted to pop in and say how much I'm enjoying your blog. I'm currently 8 weeks with twins, and looking forward eagerly to being just as huge and uncomfortable as you are now :-)

[winking.chick]

I'm feeling your pains & cramps & breathing probs & and the rest of the miserable sh$t the third trimester brings. I'm also doing it alone because my dh's company thought it was a great time to send him to another town for a job! I too learned to grab my flipper for charlie horses, but I'd wished to of learned it much earlier. I'm fat, bloated, hot, unatractive, swollen, my house is a wreck and my 12 year old son is pissing me off from the minute he gets home from school! This sucks and I'm tying some tubes up immediatley! I'm to old for this (37) and don't plan on a repeat. On the other hand, I can't wait to see my new baby boy! he's due Thanksgiving Day. I can't wait to dye my grey hair too.